It’s Iditarod Time!!!
And these doggies won’t be doggin’ it!!!
Iditarod 51 4 March – When the Red Lantern passes under the Burled Arch in Nome 2023. Gee Haw, it’s that time again Jane’s Ranch Hands! This year, 32 masochistic, but otherwise incredibly healthy two-leggers, clip 14 of their best canine athletes to the gangline, load up the sleds with food, med kit, vet book, paw booties, doggie coats, sleeping bag, stove, snowshoes, Iditarod promo material &, mebbe a gun, pick a starting number from a hat and get in line to mush 1,000 miles over mountains, down ravines, through jumble ice & no matter the weather, wind chill or earthquakes from Anchorage to Nome.
The bubbly boys & girls & their wondrous canine teams mush the Southern Route this year, and thank the fek no batflu restrictions apply, so teams can hobnob with locals at small checkpoint villages, as can die-hard fans who fly in by chartered Cessnas. The race boosts economies of these otherwise rather impoverished sleepy hollows, each of which has a story to tell. Your faithful scribe will try to steal bits of local info to spice up the monotony of bitches in heat, runaway sleds and dog squabbles.
Iditarod was started by Joe Redington Sr to keep the sport and importance of dog mushing alive and to honour the mushers & dogs who braved hideous, certain-death blizzard conditions to deliver diphtheria sera and save the sick kiddos in Nome in 1925. Leonhard Seppala was the star of that relay mission as he was the musher who arrived in Nome. His dog Balto was most celebrated, but it was later determined that it was Togo who saved the day on that treacherous journey. (There are books & movies about Balto & Togo, the latter of which stands guard in mummified form at the Iditarod shop in Wasilla, Alaska.)
Sadly, PETA has got its claws into the woke PR teams (and likely, the CEO wives) of major sponsors and lies that Iditarod dogs are tortured & beaten (Iditty canines are the best cared for & healthiest canines in the world). Nevertheless, major firms have caved for fear of tarnished images. Gone from the sponsor roles are the likes of Jack Daniels, Alaska Air, Exxon Mobil, Millennial Hotel, and Dodge Ram, which used to award a kickass truck to the winner. (Fekin pansies.)
So, fire away with any Qs or comments. I absolve myself of any errors that may cause hurt feelings or lost bets.
Gee (turn right) Haw (go left), Little Doggies!